In Which I Read It So You Don't Have To

You know how when you were in school, and you had finished your ten page paper, but no matter how you resized the font, it was still only eight and a half pages? So then you went back and made "Mr. Johnson writes," into "Mr. Johnson, a renown novelist, formerly from New York City, currently residing in Southern California and a tenured professor of Creative Writing at Some California College, writes," and then your English professor crossed out every bit of fluff with a concise "unnecessary," and gave you a C-. The "Republican Road to Recovery" is kinda like that.

All of the RRtR is divided into three parts. (A little Caesar's Gallic Wars joke. Don't get to throw those in every day. Though I do try; I do try.) Part the first: Curb Spending!!! Republican solution? Don't spend. Part the second: Create Jobs and Lower Taxes!!! Republican solution? Lower taxes by reducing the tax burden. Alrighty then. Create jobs in energy, by getting rid of those pesky regulations regarding drilling and nuclear energy. Part the third: Control Debt!!! Republican solution? No bailouts, and "minimize government interference" in financial institutions because "the government's interventions to date have generated market uncertainty." (Aaaah! See previous posts!)

This little outline, if you can call three points an outline, is full of circular logic and very large, gratuitous graphics, and it's still only nineteen pages long. And that includes pretty slate blue back and front cover pages. If your aforementioned English professor forced you to rewrite and remove the fluff, your nineteen page paper would be down to about three pages. Maybe.

Please to enjoy this gratuitous palate cleanser: